We, at Uncommon Love Ministries, strive to represent Christ well as we equip churches and families to unconditionally love those affected by SSA and/or those living the LGBT lifestyle, without compromising their faith or the truth of God’s Word.

We are followers of Christ with family members or other loved ones who have Same-Sex Attraction or are living the LGBT lifestyle.  We love these people deeply and unconditionally.

We believe, however, that, as it is with all things, balance is required.  We believe it is possible to both love someone unconditionally and also not agree with their perspectives or choices.  In fact, people who are able to do this have the healthiest relationships! And we want healthy relationships with our SSA/LGBT loved ones!

We accept the claims of those who say their identity is defined by their sexuality, and we also ask that those same people respect that our identity is found in Jesus Christ.  Mutual respect is imperative for healthy relationships as well.

We are deeply flawed, works-in-progress, who are simply doing the best we can to navigate an incredibly complex and difficult situation, and to authentically and lovingly foster healthy relationships with our SSA/LGBT loved ones.

We are not here to be “judge and jury.” We are not here to condemn or demean or shame anyone.  We are not here to choose sides, offend, or be divisive. Our goals are to be true to who we are while nurturing our relationships with our loved ones, and to encourage others to do so as well.

We do not expect everyone to agree with us, but our hope is that however vehemently someone may disagree with us, that the conversations we have here will be respectful, kind, and loving.

Our motto is:  Love hard. No compromise.  That means we are here to love to the best of our ability while also staying true to our own identities. Too many Christian parents have violated their own faith and values in order to maintain a relationship with their SSA/LGBT loved ones.  We believe this is just as wrong as asking our SSA/LGBT loved ones to change who they are!  Therefore, we encourage parents and family members to be true to themselves (without apology) AND to love their SSA/LGBT loved ones with all their hearts and to the best of their ability.

We believe this philosophy can change the discussion and the culture we live in for the better. We welcome your kind, thoughtful, and respectful input and comments.

God is a God of both love and boundaries: We believe God is love, AND that God is a God of boundaries. One without the other fails to represent God’s character in a balanced manner.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8) Again, this is agape love, which seeks the highest good of another.

Below are boundaries God set forth regarding salvation and relationship with Himself:

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” John 3:3

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

We believe God’s principles, commands, etc. in Scripture are based on His love for us because sin separates us from Him (in regard to intimate day-to-day relationship, not in a way that causes us to lose our salvation), because He knows what is best for us, and because He knows the painful consequences that occur when we violate those principles.

First, He showed His great agape love for us by sending Jesus to die for our sins while we were still steeped in sin: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Then, He told us that because He loves us as sons and daughters—and because He delights in us—He disciplines us. His discipline is an expression of His love for us:

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline (training, instruction, correction),
and do not resent his rebuke (scolding),
because the Lord disciplines (corrects) those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:11-12

It’s All About Love: The most important thing we need to tell you in this entire document is that We Love You! Because we have the Holy Spirit living inside us, and because we desire to please God, we are compelled to love everyone. (Loving others is so important to God that the command to “love one another” is found 19 times in the New Testament!)

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

So please believe us when we say we LOVE everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, willful sin, or even those who hate us. God has placed HIS love in us for you and your loved ones.

No Condemnation or Judgment: We do not judge people. God alone is the Judge of people and their sins. What we “judge” (assess, discern, weigh out) are the actions we take for which we (Christians) are accountable for, especially those outlined in Scripture.

“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.” 1 Corinthians 5:12a.

We love everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, whether they are Christians or Jews or Muslims, etc., and regardless of race, creed, religion, etc.

The Ground is Level at The Foot of The Cross: We DO NOT believe we are any “better” than anyone else. Each one of us is capable of the most heinous sins…. We KNOW the depth of the sin that Jesus has saved us from, and from the sins that He rescues us from regularly. We do not hold ourselves higher, loftier, or more righteous than anyone else; our righteousness is the same as that of every other Christian, and it is based on Jesus and what He did for us on the cross. There is no good in any one of us apart from the good that Jesus brings to us in and through His life within us.

Sexual Purity: We believe God is serious about Christians living a sexually pure life, and that those who engage in sexual immorality with another person are harming that person: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.  For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.  Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Root of SSA: We believe that SSA is an attachment issue (disorder), brought about by a variety of events, experiences, and heart wounds, and that no one is born with SSA.

No Indulgence of Sin: However, even if evidence existed that proved people are born with SSA, that would not grant carte blanche to the sin of same-sex behavior. All people are born “in sin.” ALL of us. Each of us has a predilection to sin. Jesus came, in part, to pay the penalty for our sins, to set us free from the bondage of sin; He did not in any way indulge any sin or sinful nature.

God Heals: Because we believe SSA originates in a heart wound or wounds, we also believe that that wound can be healed. God is a God who heals—especially when it comes to heart issues.

Jesus Has Set Us Free from Sin: Because SSA is not in our DNA, and because even the LGBTQ+ community has supported the idea that sexuality is “fluid,” we believe that God can and does set people free from SSA and from the homosexual lifestyle. There are many stories of people who can testify to this fact.

God First; Others Second; Me Last: However, even when people are not set free from SSA, the same principles apply for those people that apply to everyone else: sex outside of biblical marriage is sin, and it does not honor God nor does it benefit those who choose that lifestyle. Sin always hurts us and it often hurts others as well. Further, there are many people who are single—either by choice or circumstance—that do not engage in sex outside of God’s mandates, and who live happy and fulfilled lives. Sex is not the be-all/end-all of life. Therefore, we believe it is more important to live in obedience to God rather than to live according to the desires of our human bodies. The former makes a way for a life of fulfillment and satisfaction; the latter comes with very dire (and painful) consequences indeed.

Sacredness of Marriage: Marriage is defined as a sacred union between one man and one woman before God. Every instance of marriage in the Bible was between a man and a woman; likewise, every instance of homosexuality or sexual immorality was categorized as sin in Scripture. Thus, we do not believe God sanctions gay “marriage.” However, we are also aware that our government and civil laws are not based upon God’s Word, therefore, while we do not condone gay “marriage,” we accept that civil unions between same-sex couples are legal and binding.

Willful Sin: All people sin; however, there are two basic types of sin: the first is sin that we stumble into without planning to do so, and the second is willful sin, which is the result of a conscious choice. Accordingly, the choice to engage in homosexual sin is willful sin. That does not mean that some of us are “better” than others. God is no respecter of persons, status, etc. He does not love some of us more or less than others! However, willful sin is rebellion against God. Also, it should be noted that because those who have not given their lives to Christ have no power over sin, the concept of willful sin only applies to Christians.