One morning, as I turned on Christmas music for the first time this season, one of my all time favorites came blasting from my phone. With it, the sudden pang of a familiar pain. It was “our” song at Christmas 1994, when our sweet daughter was due. She arrived two weeks before Christmas Day. It was true: she was all we wanted for Christmas, and she was the best Christmas gift we ever received, short of Jesus Himself.
I sat staring at my phone for a few moments, the mixed bag of emotions battling it out: overwhelming joy for our sweet girl, and tremendous pain, once again over the disintegration of our marriage and all the pain that event ushered into our lives.
It’s the same every year. The joy and pain battling it out. Maybe you have those same struggles too.
But today, I decided something had to change. This year needed to be different
THE FOLLY OF RESISTING PAIN
In our recent parent group meeting, we discussed the issue of pain.
We hate pain.
We resist it.
When painful things happen we cry, “FOUL!!!” as though life shouldn’t be painful.
But is that true? Is it realistic?
No!
My mind goes back to a line from “The Princess Bride,”
“Life is pain, Highness, and anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something.”
And there it is. Life IS painful.
The screening comes back positive for cancer.
The divorce papers are served.
The pink slip lands on your desk.
The call to come home for the impending death of a loved one comes.
Your son tells you he’s gay.
Pain comes. Sometimes it comes little by little, day by day. Other times it comes crashing in like a tsunami. Sometimes it stays, as though it will never leave.
But it comes. It comes regularly. It comes often.
REFRAMING PAIN: MAKING A DIFFERENT CHOICE
So what if we enjoyed each day that things are good and pain is at bay, all the while recognizing that pain is coming again; not out of a sense of doom, but rather as a declaration of joy in the now, accepting that pain is ultimately a regular and persistent part of life? What if we accepted that pain is a normal part of life, of loving, of living?
What if we accepted it as a normal cost of living? What if we accepted it as a part of life that God uses to change us and to refine us? To make us more like Jesus?
I told our group the other evening that I would not be who I am today without all the pain I’ve experienced. God has changed me for the better because of my pain and because I cooperated with Him in it.
I still don’t like it, but like surgery that repairs a broken bone is a painful part of the healing process, heartbreaking life events can be just as good.
Did I just say pain is good? No, not really. But pain can produce good results. As the old saying goes, it can make us bitter or better. The choice is ours.
So today, and for this holiday season, I choose to forgo the battle between joy and pain. I choose instead to train my heart to allow them to coexist peacefully as a natural part of life. My hope is that you will do the same.
Life is good.
Life is painful.
Both statements are true.
Both may occupy the same space at the same time in our hearts.❤️
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Do you have a questions? Comments? Feel free to leave them below.
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